Rachel and Pete's Infertility Story

My story is probably similar to many others that are struggling with infertility, but nonetheless it is my own.  After my husband and I had been married for just over a year, we decided we wanted to start trying for a baby.  Four weeks later, after taking numerous pregnancy tests, I got a positive.  I felt like the luckiest person alive, and apparently the most fertile.   We were beyond thrilled, and everything seemed like it was falling into place in perfect timing. 

I waited three impatient weeks for the ultrasound to come around, looking forward to seeing the little gummy bear I had seen in others’ ultrasound pictures. I had never been to an ultrasound appointment before, so I had no idea what was to be expected.  The ultrasound began and I kept waiting for the technician to say something. Instead, it was very quiet.  After a few minutes of looking around, she turned the machine off and said, “You can go put your clothes on in the bathroom, and then the nurse will tell you your results”.  This wasn’t exactly what I had pictured for an ultrasound, and part of me knew then what was to come. However, the other part of me was so full of hope and wanted to be naïve to what was going on.  The nurse came in and explained that there had been no heartbeat, and that there were two possibilities as to why. Either I wasn’t as far along as we had thought or the baby had stopped developing at six weeks.  It took a while for this to sink in, but I still tried to error on the positive side hoping that maybe, just maybe, the second option was it.  They said to come back in after two weeks and we would try another ultrasound.  The nurse then drew my blood to check my HCG levels, and said to come back in a few days to see if the numbers had increased. If they had, that was a good sign things were developing as they should.  A few days later, my blood was drawn again, and my HCG levels had increased SIGNIFICANTLY.  I had feelings of relief and an increase in hope, praying that somehow things would be okay.  Two weeks went by, and it was time for the second ultrasound.  The technician looked around, in silence, and then turned off the machine.  As hard as I tried, this time I couldn’t hold back the tears.  The technician couldn’t either.  The doctor talked to me about possibly having to do a d&c if I didn’t miscarry on my own. So from that point on, I just began to pray that it would happen naturally and was almost relieved when it did. 

As difficult as miscarrying was, Pete and I were optimistic and weren’t going to let this experience discourage us. We knew we would be able to start trying again in a couple of months.  We had lots of hope due to how fast it had happened the last time, and even planned it perfectly so we’d be able to make a onesie with the words “Made in Mexico” written on the front. I skipped an entire month after having had two perfectly regular cycles.  It wasn’t until after that that I began to realize how irregular my cycles were.  After a year passed, I decided it was time to go see an OBGYN to figure out what was going on.  We did a few lab tests which came back normal, and I wasn’t told much more than, “You’ve been pregnant before, I’m sure you’ll get pregnant again soon.”… “it could possibly be due to stress- sometimes after a miscarriage, things stress you out that wouldn’t have before.”…, along with, “you guys are young, there’s no rush”, etc.  I had emphasized PCOS runs in my family and was something I wanted to have checked on, but practically had to beg to take the glucose test to check my insulin resistance.   Those results came back normal for me as well.  This was an emotional time for me to say the least, and my husband and I felt very alone in trying to figure out why we couldn’t have the baby we wanted so badly. 

It has been 3 years since then.  Thanks to our OBGYN and infertility specialists, we’ve learned a lot of things and have been very confused by more.  I eventually did get diagnosed with PCOS, and to our surprise, my husband with low motility and a low sperm count.  We’ve tried various modern day treatments such as clomid, letrozole, IUI’s, gonal-f, metformin, and even a random Robutussin cough syrup for my husband to help with fertility.  More natural approaches have been taken as well including diet, acupuncture, and herbs.  And now, here I am, exactly 3 years later, amidst a break of beginning infertility treatments, and I just found out I’m pregnant.  I have so many emotions and feelings running through my head right now. Disbelief, excitement, fear, overwhelming happiness, gratitude, and of course exhaustion and nausea. I can’t tell you what we did, because I have no idea (well, I’m sure you know the basics).  We weren’t trying anything specific; I had a stomach ulcer and I was living off of watermelon, fish, cinnamon rolls, black licorice and pretzels.  A really well balanced diet, right? We were in the process of moving. In fact, my husband and I were apart more that month than were together. But somehow, a miracle happened.  I’m only 6 weeks along right now, and only time will tell what happens next, but I feel an immense joy that we’ve gotten this far. One of the first things I did was call my infertility clinic to let them know, and they were just as excited for us, as we are, that we were able to get pregnant on our own.  Our infertility journey I’m sure isn’t over (although I hope it will be at least for the next 7 months), but I’m very grateful for the people that have helped us get to this point.