To IVF or Not to IVF

Making the decision to take the financial, physical, and emotional plunge into IVF can be a very difficult one to make. I have had many friends approach me and ask how I knew it was the right thing. Honestly, for my husband and I, we had a possible 1% chance of ever conceiving naturally and, while we could have first tried a few rounds of IUI, the chances of those succeeding were so minimal that we didn’t have a lot of options. Outside of IVF, one doctor did recommend my husband undergo surgery in an effort to increase his sperm count, because as the doctor put it, “do you really want your child to be conceived in a test tube?”
 

Ultimately, there were a number of things that went into our decision to move forward and to seek treatment through IVF.

1      1. I did A LOT of research on our potential treatment options, success rates, and other’s experiences. Upon doing my research, I discovered that even if my husband got the absolute BEST results from the surgery (which held only a 50/50 chance), his sperm count would still likely be too low to seek treatment through IUI. In short, the surgery was unlikely to change our course of treatment anyway.

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   2. Talking with my husband and making sure we were on the same page was another important, and sometimes discouraging, step of the process. IVF really is difficult and it is really important that you and your spouse are on the same page with everything. Marital stress can already be high in this process; therefore, it is especially important to be able to lean on one another and grow together as you make your journey through infertility as it can quickly do just the opposite.

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   3. Mapping out the finances. Can I just say YUCK! It was so frustrating for me to think that I may not be able to do something to increase our chances of having a child because of something so trivial as money. There are a million other things to worry about and money is just not one that I wanted to have to address. However, it is really important to look at and make sure that you and your spouse are comfortable with your financial plan, whether it be taking on extra jobs and saving as much as possible of the next year, pulling it out of your savings account, or considering a loan.

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   4. Lastly, and possibly most importantly, I really believe that when it is time to pursue IVF, you just know. You get a gut feeling, a nudge from within, that it is time. You may still be scared and working through the finances, but you know that that is the next best step. The timing of this is different for everyone, which can be frustrating. But going through the first steps will help you to feel more prepared when that time arises.

Wherever you are in your infertility journey, I wish you luck and anxiously await the day that you get to make your big announcement.

-Shauni Holcomb