Staying Close To Your Spouse While Battling Infertility

      

Anyone whose gone through or is going through infertility can tell you that, at times, it can really start to take a toll on your relationship with your spouse. Whether it be from the stress of figuring out how to pay for treatments, irritability due to an increase in all the hormones you are pumping into your body, or from the worry that your dreams of not having children may not ever come true, it is hard and sometimes we take those frustrations, worries and stresses out on the person we love the most. Infertility and trying for a baby can also be all consuming in every aspect of your life and you may find that every conversation somehow or in someway revolves around getting that precious baby. This can often lead to the neglect of other, once important aspects of you and your spouse’s life. Although all this is normal and I believe that all couples who go through infertility experience this at some point, or perhaps many points within their journey to have children, it is still important to make an effort to make sure that you and your spouses relationship is still progressing and growing and not being neglected. It took a long time for my husband and I to figure out that the journey of infertility was easier for each of us, and for us together, when we were trying to stay close as a couple and not let infertility weaken our relationship.

Here are a few things we did, and that I have found others have done, in order to stay close to their spouse while trying to conceive a baby…

1. Regular Date Nights: Go out as a couple and do something fun that gets your mind off of the treatments, doctor appointments, and finances.

2. Serve One Another: Sometimes I would get so caught up in the meds I was having to take, or the shots I was having to do that I would often forget that the process was also hard for my husband and I wouldn’t remember to do those kind things for him that I had previously done in our marriage. He noticed a difference, as did I.

3. Set aside time to talk about treatments, finances and options but then leave it alone for a bit. Although this can be really hard, don’t forget to still have conversations about regular life things such as sports, how work was, etc. Taking your mind off of infertility if even for a small conversation can really make a difference.

4. Travel: I recognize that this may not be possible for everyone depending on financial circumstances, but one of the things that saved my husband and I while going through infertility was some of the vacations we went on. It was the best to go somewhere for a few days and pretend that we were different people. A couple who didn’t want kids, whose only worries were what awesome restaurant we were going to eat at next or what fruity drink we should order at that moment. Even if your travels take you to the mountains for a day or camping for the weekend, do what you can to make it happen. Stepping out of real life sometimes is just the reset you need to power through that next treatment.

5. Talk about your feelings. No matter where the problem lies both spouses experience a range of emotions while going through infertility and sometimes we don’t understand how the other person is feeling unless we ask. SO ASK. TALK ABOUT IT. It will bring you closer together if you can understand where your spouse is at in the process and vice versa.

Infertility takes its toll on any marriage, but luckily any marriage can survive it! These are just a few ideas. Find something that works for you and your husband and stick with it!

-       -Kamryn